A Dialogue-phobes Guide to Writing Believable Dialogue

I don’t like to write dialogue. I find it difficult and slow going. I torture myself over every single word asking myself the same questions:

Photo courtesy of Mimi Thian via Unsplash

• Does this conversation sound stilted?

• Does anyone actually speak like my characters?

• Is this conversation boring?

• Most importantly, does the dialogue move the story forward or just act as meaningless filler?

Now ask me to create a setting or a mood? No problem. Words flow out of me like a thawed river set free. Write a sex scene? Easy! (Hey, there is very little dialogue necessary here). But, make my characters talk to each other…hmmm. I often sit for hours staring at the screen.

Have no fear though, there are solutions. Even I, a queen dialogue-phobe, have found ways to work through dialogue blocks and get my hands moving across the page again.

My top method is simple eavesdropping. I love to listen to other’s people’s conversations. I have found it to be a guaranteed way to learn the cadence and pace of speech, as well as observing body language and gestures. This approach costs no more than the price of a cup of coffee or tea when you sit in a local café or restaurant.

With the pandemic still raging and less access to restaurant sitting, standing in line works, too. Even better with social distancing, people more often than not talk in loud, eaves-droppable voices. Whenever you find yourself where people can be heard, make sure you have a notebook. Then, relax and listen. Yes, stealing an unforgettable line is allowed.

Don’t want to eavesdrop in public? No worries at all. Try watching a few of your favorite movies, focusing on the spoken dialogue, body language, and pacing. How does the conversation differ when it takes place between two women or two men who are buddies vs a couple romantically involved? How about between a parent and a child?

Once you’ve studied people talking and written your dialogue, the next step is to read it aloud. True, your family may begin to believe you are having a nervous breakdown, especially if you take on all the different voices and accents of your characters. My husband came running down the stairs at midnight one night because he thought a group of Scotsmen were shouting in our living room. I thought he was asleep. Being overheard is a minor issue, I assure you. Not one you need to let deter you. Close the door, go into a closet, attic, or outside in the backyard and ignore them. Reading your dialogue out loud is the most sure-fire way to test your dialogue for believability.

Listen, watch, write and you’re sure to get the dialogue flowing.

Happy writing.